Just Grin and Bear It
by PaperclipKiller
Summary: A month after they get together Hiruma lies about his love for Sena causing the brown haired running back into a depressed frenzy. Now he needs to fix it, but how? Oneshot. Yaoi.


**Yo! What's up? Nothing new? Okay, well, I have made another HirumaXSena fanfiction so enjoy. This is yaoi so if you have any sort of problem with it, don't read it okay? Sadly, I don't own anyone from this manga because of blah, blah, blah reasons. This is soft yaoi so it's nothing that will cause a serious nosebleed. So, enjoy, review, whatever. **

* * *

He was suffering delusions, suffering from heat stroke, from stress, from…anything. It couldn't possibly be what he thought he was and he couldn't explain it. No, he wouldn't believe it. He was made of ice, made of cold steel or something along those lines. He was heartless, unloving, cruel, careless and evil. No part of him was able to love, to think caring thoughts, to even nurse something back to health. He didn't care for anyone. He just didn't love anyone.

Hiruma found it utterly impossible to believe that his ice cold heart was finally warming up to someone. He hardly knew him, hardly cared if the boy even got hurt and didn't give the slightest _damn _if Sena died. That's what he had to keep believing, to keep thinking that nothing Sena ever did would wake up his heart from the sleep that Hiruma put it in. He had to think that no one, not even the adorable little brat he _liked _so much, could even come close to awaking his non beating heart from the dead.

Hiruma had to think of ways to make not only his brain, not only his body but his heart to believe that Sena didn't matter. But, sadly, unlike all the other times he wasn't able to.

Just watching the brat talk to the monkey boy, Monta, made him pissed beyond all belief. It was jealousy, it was hate. He wanted to kill the receiver for being within five inches of the running back. _Fucking brat_, he thought as he took a drink of water from his water bottle. _Making me think like this, making me wonder what the fuck is going on with me. I hate this, I hate my feelings, I hate…him._ Hiruma growled as the thought crossed his mind.

In truth he didn't hate Sena, that was the least of the matter, the last word on his person to describe him. He loved him, absolutely attracted in every way.

For being a demon in everyone's eyes Hiruma wondered what people would think of him when they saw him going out and kissing the brat. They'd probably find it disgusting, maybe even drop dead at the sight. Hiruma smiled at the thought of Mamori panicking to death and yelling her head off. She'd probably think that he had tricked Sena into going out with him. _I hope she blows a gasket, _he thought, chuckling. But still…he'd _love_ to see her horrified look when Hiruma pulled Sena up close to his body, kissing down his neck, hands snaking over his body and slipping up his shirt…

Hiruma clenched his teeth as his school pants got tighter and tighter. _Joy…_he thought as he looked at Sena talking to Monta. He had to stop himself from thinking such things. Hiruma could blame hormones. He was a teenager, he was a boy. If anyone caught him he could simply lie and say he saw Mamori's underwear when the wind blew her skirt up. Yep, that killed it. He grimaced at the thought, why would even think of something like that? He needed some serious brain surgery now.

"Hiruma-san?"

The quarterbacks eyes looked up, Hiruma's head not moving from it's downward position. "Yes?"

"Is practice over?" Sena asked. _Demon_, Hiruma thought, _that's what he really is. He's not something I should like or even find attractive._

Hiruma looked up from the ground and looked at Sena and Monta, the stupid twin diffuses they were, and scowled. The two immediately backed away. Hiruma felt a pang of guilt. Was he really that scary? Were they that terrified of him? He looked into Sena's eyes, fear rimming them, a awaiting glance on his face. His face was absolutely afraid of him. What had he done? "Yeah, whatever midget." Hiruma stood, turned trying to hide his somewhat pained expression.

He was not used to this, this wasn't normal for him. He didn't feel, he shouldn't have, he shouldn't now. Hiruma grabbed his helmet, stuck his gloves in his duffle bag and quickly zipped it shut. Looking over in the direction the twerps would have left he saw the brown haired runner still standing there. Eyes narrowing in anger and confusion Hiruma stood at his full height, squared his shoulders and looked as cocky as possible. "What are you doing here Eyeshield? What do you want?"

"To talk," Sena whispered. "I mean, you've been out of it--"

"Out of what, exactly?" Hiruma pushed. Sena looked at the ground and quieted for a moment. Sena then looked up.

"You've been weird, Hiruma-san. You seem--different." Sena paused. "You haven't shot a gun off in three days! That itself is a new record." Sena's eyes softened. "Is anything wrong?"

Hiruma snorted. Maybe Sena wasn't as stupid as he thought. He _did_ notice things and he _did_ care, well, sort of. "There's nothing wrong, I have no clue what your talking about and honestly, I think your delusional."

Sena's flinched a little, like he'd been hit, hurt even. Hiruma looked to the skies and then down to the first year. He looked more pathetic then ever. Shoulders were slack, facing the ground, arms limp and eyes troubled and thinking.

--0--

Sena never realized that that was what Hiruma really thought about him. Delusional. Did he really seem that oblivious to people? Did he look that innocent? Sena tried to breathe. It was only a month ago that they had actually talked like people, kissed, hugged. Hiruma had even allowed Sena into his depressing place called a home. Hiruma was alone and Sena didn't want him to be anymore and he had to help change that.

"Hiruma, seriously--" Sena stopped at the sight of a gun pointed to his forehead. Amazingly he expected it.

"I'll shoot you if you don't shut up," Hiruma hissed, venom dripping from his tone.

Sena gulped air and held it, trying to pick up some courage so that he'd be able to talk to Hiruma like an actual person. He closed his eyes. "No you won't," Sena whispered.

Hiruma corked an eyebrow, showing his teeth. "What did you say?"

"I said you wouldn't shoot me." Sena managed as he reopened his eyes. "Just last month me and you were holding each other, perfectly happy. We actually kissed each other Hiruma." Sena paused seeing how much Hiruma's face was changing from mildly pissed to full on annoyed. "Hiruma, you said you loved me." Hiruma's eyes widened a bit. "You cared for me. What happened?"

Hiruma removed the gun from Sena's face and put it against his shoulder, one hand on his hip, face firm and angry. "Feeling gutsy today?"

"No, I want to know what happened to you!" Sena yelped. "I want to know why just one month ago we were hugging, holding each others hands and actually doing something together and now we're sworn enemies on the opposite sides of the damn field. You don't even hand me the ball in games anymore, Hiruma." Sena stopped. Hiruma looked shocked but impressed. Sena wondered why. "Hiruma, last time I check we were together, we were happy, we loved each other and now…what?"

Hiruma smiled. "Do you really think I love you?"

Sena gasped, he felt his chest clench. His fist unclenched and his shoulders went slack once again. Sena gulped to try to make the ball in his throat go away, his eyes stayed wide in shocked horror. "Yes…" Sena choked at the word. He hoped that Hiruma loved him, he wished that Hiruma would say yes to but he knew, deep down in the pit of his stomach that seemed to skip up into his chest that Hiruma, the demon of Deimon High School would indeed say no.

Hiruma snorted. "No Eyeshield, I don't love you." Hiruma said. Sena's breath caught. How could he? "I don't even like you. You're my only ticket into getting to the Christmas Bowl and nothing more." Sena felt his heart pound in his ears. Hiruma's smile grew wider showing that he enjoyed seeing Sena's expression. "I did that just because I wanted you to believe me, to stay on the team, so you wouldn't run away."

Sena couldn't breathe, his chest was constricting him, killing him. He felt his lungs burn for air but his throat wouldn't stop swelling up. Sena had to admit he did look awful at this point. His eyes were stuck in horror, as wide as dinner plates and pupils small, feeling the onslaught of tears coming. His fingers were numb, his shoulders were slouched, his legs were twitching to move but they wouldn't go anywhere, his mouth was pressed into a thin line. On the outside he just looked scared but on the inside he was slowly breaking down, unable to think a thought, feeling everything burn for oxygen that wouldn't come. He was dying.

He opened his mouth but when nothing came out he closed it to swallow. Another try came. "But--I thought you--"

"You were wrong," Hiruma cut him off. "You thought wrong." Hiruma loved grinding the salt into the already deep and bleeding wound, it just hurt worse. "I don't care about you."

And it shattered. The whole world around Sena just crashed into a thousand pieces and fell to the floor. Mamori was right when he said he shouldn't have gotten involved and now he regretted it horribly. "But--" Sena felt something hit him over the side of the head and he felt to the ground, dirt kicking up a little bit. He lay there.

"Stop trying to make me feel sorry for you, I don't love you and I never will," Hiruma picked up his bag and strung it over his shoulder. "Go home Eyeshield and don't bother me about this matter anymore."

Sena didn't hear that part, he didn't care. Nothing mattered anymore, nothing seemed to make sense. Sena lay there for about another twenty minutes. Hiruma had gone a long time ago and when Sena finally got home it was already midnight.

--0--

Sena didn't show up for school the next day or for practice the next two days after. Three days had past and Hiruma still felt horrible about what he had done to the brat. _If I would have just admitted I loved him, cared for him, wished that he would be with me…he be here right now_, thought Hiruma as he threw the ball to Monta who jumped up to catch it and slide across the ground. Hiruma scowled at the stupid brat. "Hey, fucking monkey!"

Monta ran up to him with minutes. Hiruma looked down to him. "Where's Sena? Do you know?"

Monta shook his head and tapped his finger again his head. "No…I don't know why his gone. I remember calling his house and when his mom answer she said he's been out of it for a while now," Monta whispered the last part. "He won't even talk to anyone."

Hiruma felt a pang of hurt hit him in a wave. _I hate my feelings_, Hiruma thought. Setting down the ball and walking over to the clubhouse he knew what he had to do. "Hey, Hiruma! Where are you going?"

Hiruma narrowed his eyes. "I'm making something right," he said as he ran up the stairs and out of the school boundaries.

--0--

Sena looked at the ceiling above him and sighed. He couldn't keep skipping school like this and he couldn't avoid Hiruma for long because of football practice so why avoid something that he couldn't avoid in the first place? Sena closed his eyes feeling the wave of pain, agony, and hurt wash over him. He hated this so much.

__

He said he didn't love me

, Sena thought feeling his heart clench in his chest.

_He doesn't want me near him. He doesn't want me to love him. Maybe I should transfer schools or something, make it easier for him to forget about me. _

Suddenly there was tap against his window. Turning onto his side lazily his eyes widened and his mouth opened in amazement. "What the--?"

Hiruma was standing on the landing outside of Sena's window with a sign in his hands that said 'let me in, now.'

Sena instantly felt angry. He toyed with his feelings, told him he didn't love him, shooed him away like he was some kind of animal and now he wants to apologize? _Right…_Sena quickly got up and reached for the line to shut the blinds. Just then the card in Hiruma's hand flipped.

"Before you shut the blinds please let me talk to you…" Sena read. Hiruma flipped the card. "Because I was an idiot and I lied. Please, please, please let me in so I can make the only thing in my pitiful life…" He paused as Hiruma flipped the card. "That matters feel better." Sena looked the demon in the eyes and saw that Hiruma wasn't lying. Sighing he let the window open only to tackled by the quarterback. They both landed on the floor, Hiruma on top of Sena with Sena's legs wide open.

"Well this is kind of a kinky position," Hiruma whispered perversely. Sena instantly threw him off him and sat up.

"How dare you come in here like that and tackle me--!" Hiruma kissed him. Sena pulled away. "What exactly do you think your--!" Hiruma kissed him again only to pushed away again. "Stop kissing me! I'm angry--" Hiruma kissed him and Sena pushed paused for second excepting it but then he realized what was happening. Hiruma was denied the lips again. "Stop trying to distract me!" Hiruma then pulled Sena up and against him and kissed him hard on the lips.

Sena felt his lips beginning to bruise under the pressure but loved it. He muffled a few angry curses before they slowly mumbled into happy moan and pleasing groans. Hiruma felt Sena relax in his grasp and growled happily as he traced kisses over the first years chin, over to his ear when he bit the earlobe teasingly, and down the boys neck. Sena's head tilted back making his tiny frame press up against Hiruma's chest. Hiruma again growled but smiled into the running backs neck as he bit lightly at the skin.

"I love you, Sena." Hiruma whispered. "I'm just to stubborn to realize that my feelings are towards you. I love you and always have." Hiruma nuzzled into Sena's shoulder and kissed it lightly then ran his tongue over the spot causing a tiny mewl come from the other. "I'm sorry, I'm just a stupid, bitter bastard who's in love and is to blind to see it."

"Hiruma-san…" Sena whispered as he hugged his arms around the older ones neck and smiled into Hiruma's blonde hair. "I love you because you're a stupid, bitter bastard and nothing more." Sena felt Hiruma smile into his shoulder. "I love you because your you and no matter what you say I will always love you."

Hiruma pulled away from Sena with a huge grin on his face. "Well, I guess I'm going to have to change your little mind, huh?"

"What?"

Hiruma grinned wider. "Yep, I'm going to make your next three practices a living hell and I'll prove it by making you do two hundred laps none stop, five hundred push ups, bench for three hours after school and--" Hiruma stopped to think. "--make you take a shower with me every day for the next three months."

Sena smiled. "That I wont mind…" He instantly covered his mouth. Hiruma smiled his evil devil smile.

"You're a little closet kink, aren't you?" Hiruma whispered in Sena's ear. Sena blushed deeply at what Hiruma said.

"No…"

Hiruma smiled as his hand slid up under Sena's shirt and began to rub. Sena blushed deeper and moaned loudly. "We'll just have to test that, no won't we?" Hiruma whispered as he began to unzip Sena's pants. Hiruma just smiled as evilly as ever.

* * *

**Hope you guys had fun. Love ya'll. Bye.**


End file.
